Trusting..
Tonight at Bible study we went over Proverbs 3:1-12, focusing on verse 5 & 6. I'm becoming more aware of certain ideas presented and how they affect my relationship with God. "Trusting" or dependence on God "with all my heart" is this believing that He is able to do what he wills, that He is also wise and good, according to his promise, to do what is best for us/me, if we love him, and serve him. Its not a reliance on anything that I am able to do or resting on myself as a failsafe when God doesn't come through for me...its leaning on his understanding that he knows what's best for me. Next, if I'm "in all ways acknowledging him" that means when times are good or favorable I should be praising and thanking Him for who He is and his goodness/blessing...when times are uncomfortable or difficult, I should be submissive to His understanding not my own and acknowledging his direction and control of situations far more vast than I can comprehend. And He promises to "direct my path" if this is true in my life. I remember the Nland picture and the phrase "God never promised an easy path"...that's true...but he did promise to be there and to guide and to strengthen. The only question is am I relying on the all-satisfying fountain of his grace for His glory and my good...or am I frustrated b/c things are happening as I think they should. I've noticed this with Israel as well...they complained and dejected and blasphemed and turned to other gods, but God always brought them back and when they did, he guided them in the path they should go either by prophetic utterance or pillar of cloud/fire. Trusting is a moment by moment understanding that He knows what's best and I need to just follow...its not about running ahead or stopping to contemplate alternate routes, but walking in that relationship daily to fulfill every need.
So, I'm administering my last standardized test today...and while I have the free time I'll blog while sipping my Wawa coffee. Counting today, there are 39 more school days until June 5th...which is bringing me closer to the realization that I need to get a job soon for the summer. It also, as well as last year at this time, brings me to a place where I have to look back in retrospect at the past year to the path God has brought me down and how I've progressed as a Christian and a teacher (hopefully I've been able to do both). I'm realizing that I have more time to work on things relating to school, but not as much prep. is needed for my classes at the moment...so, I've been reading and researching a lot more. My creative juices seem to be flowing more lately w/ways to incorporate better teaching methods, visual aids, and ways to incorporate more non-linear thinking & discussions. Which brings me to an idea (though not new) to brainstorming w/other Christian school teachers that happen by this site: What methods have worked for you? What are you finding in your subject/topic is most profitable or valuable to your students? How have you incorporated Biblical life principles into seemingly destitute subject matter? I think this would be an interesting and profitable discussion for all those who are part of shaping young minds. Well, time escapes me but I want to leave with a parting verse...Ps. 2:11-12, "Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the son, let he be angry, and you perish in the way, for his wrath is quickly kindled. Blessed are all who take refuge in him." See Piper's comments on it for further elaboration.
The view from the driver's seat
Why? Why are you still here with me?
Didn’t you see what I’ve done?
In my shame I want to run,
And hide myself.
God it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.
But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me
I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me.
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me.
Cause you’re a God who has all things,
And still you want me.
And I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
WIth the words to this song running through my head as they flow from my radio...I've been broadsided by two thoughts. For so long I've been doing this to God...trying to deserve what I already have like some sort of penance to achieve his acceptance when I already have it. Second, I've been behind the driver's seat for too long. As the snow (yes snow), spirals down to glance off my windshield to await its next vehicular victim, I see the view from my driver's seat...
and figuratively and literally, I don't like it. I've made a mess of what God has given to me. I've tried to handle things on my own while forgetting that the all-surpassing joy that I have sought is waiting to actually be tapped into. As corny as it may seem and as horribly done as the movie was...this past weekend, a movie helped to smack a little perspective into me...with its living in the "now" and being "who you are", post-modern, new-age philosophical mumbo-jumbo. I wasn't completely turned away, but meditated on how this idea of redeeming the time, as Paul speaks so passionately to the people of Ephesus about, has been lost in my own life. Confounded by this idea, I sought out to find out further...John Wesley's notes on Ephesians say
"With all possible care redeeming the time - Saving all you can for the best purposes; buying every possible moment out of the hands of sin and Satan; out of the hands of sloth, ease, pleasure, worldly business; the more diligently, because the present are evil days, days of the grossest ignorance, immorality, and profaneness."
While Matthew Henry expounds with,
"Time is a talent given us by God, and it is misspent and lost when not employed according to his design. If we have lost our time heretofore, we must double our diligence for the future. Of that time which thousands on a dying bed would gladly redeem at the price of the whole world, how little do men think, and to what trifles they daily sacrifice it! People are very apt to complain of bad times; it were well if that stirred them more to redeem time. Be not unwise. Ignorance of our duty, and neglect of our souls, show the greatest folly.....When afflicted or weary, let us not seek to raise our spirits by strong drink, which is hateful and hurtful, and only ends in making sorrows more felt. But by fervent prayer let us seek to be filled with the Spirit, and to avoid whatever may grieve our gracious Comforter. All God's people have reason to sing for joy. Though we are not always singing, we should be always giving thanks; we should never want disposition for this duty, as we never want matter for it, through the whole course of our lives. Always, even in trials and afflictions, and for all things; being satisfied of their loving intent, and good tendency. God keeps believers from sinning against him, and engages them to submit one to another in all he has commanded, to promote his glory, and to fulfil their duties to each other."
Another translation, says "buy up your opportunities b/c we live in evil times"...with the limited time I do have, do I really want to spend it trying to tell God how my life is going to plan out...where I want to be in 5, 10, 20 years....where I see Him sending me and now He's got to act in accordance with my desires/will. So, what if I end up in the Pacific Northwest in the next few years or in a coffeeshop in Istanbul...God should be leading, directing, and guiding, but I've been so busy driving and not sitting in the back looking at the map or even looking out the window at the view. After all this inner turmoil in the past week, I've asked God to redirect my focus to its all-satisfying source, to give me a passion again for Him and people, to not dwell on my future but cherish each moment now as precious and valuable, to not live as if I'm paying him back for something he's already given...as the song again rushes through my head through ear phones and filters into every recess of my heart...
God it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.
But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Didn’t you see what I’ve done?
In my shame I want to run,
And hide myself.
God it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.
But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me
I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me.
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me.
Cause you’re a God who has all things,
And still you want me.
And I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
WIth the words to this song running through my head as they flow from my radio...I've been broadsided by two thoughts. For so long I've been doing this to God...trying to deserve what I already have like some sort of penance to achieve his acceptance when I already have it. Second, I've been behind the driver's seat for too long. As the snow (yes snow), spirals down to glance off my windshield to await its next vehicular victim, I see the view from my driver's seat...
and figuratively and literally, I don't like it. I've made a mess of what God has given to me. I've tried to handle things on my own while forgetting that the all-surpassing joy that I have sought is waiting to actually be tapped into. As corny as it may seem and as horribly done as the movie was...this past weekend, a movie helped to smack a little perspective into me...with its living in the "now" and being "who you are", post-modern, new-age philosophical mumbo-jumbo. I wasn't completely turned away, but meditated on how this idea of redeeming the time, as Paul speaks so passionately to the people of Ephesus about, has been lost in my own life. Confounded by this idea, I sought out to find out further...John Wesley's notes on Ephesians say "With all possible care redeeming the time - Saving all you can for the best purposes; buying every possible moment out of the hands of sin and Satan; out of the hands of sloth, ease, pleasure, worldly business; the more diligently, because the present are evil days, days of the grossest ignorance, immorality, and profaneness."
While Matthew Henry expounds with,
"Time is a talent given us by God, and it is misspent and lost when not employed according to his design. If we have lost our time heretofore, we must double our diligence for the future. Of that time which thousands on a dying bed would gladly redeem at the price of the whole world, how little do men think, and to what trifles they daily sacrifice it! People are very apt to complain of bad times; it were well if that stirred them more to redeem time. Be not unwise. Ignorance of our duty, and neglect of our souls, show the greatest folly.....When afflicted or weary, let us not seek to raise our spirits by strong drink, which is hateful and hurtful, and only ends in making sorrows more felt. But by fervent prayer let us seek to be filled with the Spirit, and to avoid whatever may grieve our gracious Comforter. All God's people have reason to sing for joy. Though we are not always singing, we should be always giving thanks; we should never want disposition for this duty, as we never want matter for it, through the whole course of our lives. Always, even in trials and afflictions, and for all things; being satisfied of their loving intent, and good tendency. God keeps believers from sinning against him, and engages them to submit one to another in all he has commanded, to promote his glory, and to fulfil their duties to each other."
Another translation, says "buy up your opportunities b/c we live in evil times"...with the limited time I do have, do I really want to spend it trying to tell God how my life is going to plan out...where I want to be in 5, 10, 20 years....where I see Him sending me and now He's got to act in accordance with my desires/will. So, what if I end up in the Pacific Northwest in the next few years or in a coffeeshop in Istanbul...God should be leading, directing, and guiding, but I've been so busy driving and not sitting in the back looking at the map or even looking out the window at the view. After all this inner turmoil in the past week, I've asked God to redirect my focus to its all-satisfying source, to give me a passion again for Him and people, to not dwell on my future but cherish each moment now as precious and valuable, to not live as if I'm paying him back for something he's already given...as the song again rushes through my head through ear phones and filters into every recess of my heart...
God it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.
But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.
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