Reflections on the journey to 23

I know I'm a day late, but I thought it would be better to give a day for the realities of getting older to sink in. As I consider another year past, I can't help but think about what God has accomplished through me this year...I pray that I have in the past year loved more, encouraged more, prayed more, genuinely worshipped more, given more of myself, shared Jesus more, spent more true quality time with family and friends, laughed more, reflected more, studied more, meditated on God's word more, listened more, and truly savored the sovereignty of God in every situation. I've been reading about Augustine recently...not only for class, but also in my free time, and even though he had his flaws (who doesn't), he came away with a glimpse of God that I can't help but sit in awe of.

Augustine speaks first of the way he loves his God:

"But what do I love when I love my God?...Not the sweet melody of harmony and song; not the fragrance of flowers, perfumes, and spices; not manna or honey; not limbs such as the body delights to embrace. It is not these that I love when I love my God. And yet, when I love him, it is true that I love a light of a certain kind, a voice, a perfume, a food, an embrace; but they are of the kind that I love in my inner self, when my soul is bathed in light that is not bound by space; when it listens to sound that never dies away; when it breathes fragrance that is not borne away on the wind; when it tastes food that is never consumed by the eating; when it clings to an embrace from which it is not severed by fulfillment of desire. This is what I love when I love my God."

Next, and I know I'm going long, but its so worth it...he continues with a reflection on God:

"You are ever active, yet always at rest. You gather all things to yourself, though you suffer no need...You grieve for wrong, but suffer no pain. You can be angry and yet serene. Your works are varied, but your purpose is one and the same...You welcome those who come to you, though you never lost them. You are never in need yet are glad to gain, never covetous yet you exact a return for your gifts....You release us from our debts, but you l.ose nothing thereby. You are my God, my Life, my holy Delight, but is this enough to say to you>? Can any man say enough when he speaks of you? Yet woe betide those who are silent about you!"

Who can be silent about God and the all-satisfying pleasures at His right hand? My prayer in this next year and following as I consider God's direction for me (whatever that entails) may be to never be silent about Him, to not quench the Spirit's beckoning, to continually be drawing from the effervescent source of eternal joy, to vomit up grace as it pours out of my heart, mouth, and life, to lay prostrate in awe of his magnificence and beat my chest in repentance for how utterly inadequate and despicable I am, to relish every moment as heaven-breathed and as a token of his grace to exude gratefulness and service to Him.

To all who may be reading, I ask you to be my accountability...I need it more than you know. I need your prayers as I lift you up in mine. If I am to be a vessel worthy of Him, then I must be usable and pliable....willing to learn from mistakes as I allow him to pick me back up and brush me off. May my life be an avenue of God's glory to be reciprocated from this tarnished vessel back to Him so He is seen above all else and His fame and reknown is spread to those He sovereignly chooses to place in my path.