Doing so much in my own strength and not resting in the sufficiency of Christ. Trusting in myself to do it all...pulling myself up by my proverbial bootstraps. I've seen how miserable it can be to try to do it on my own. Confessing this complacency last night was a step. Many days it's felt like one step forward and two steps back. Why can I not seem to move on, make progress, or be satisfied in Christ alone?
Working with Grace4Kids, I hadn't heard Dan's message on Sunday, but listening to it this morning my heart was racked by my propensity to be self-sufficient. From Mark 6, Jesus gives us a perfect picture of one deriving His sufficiency from the Father. If anyone had the right to be self-sufficient, Christ did. But, He chooses to succumb to the will of the Father every time. The disciples are on the sea fighting a nasty wind, and Jesus who stayed behind to pray walks on the water to pass by them. The disciples freak out...they don't get it...they don't cry out to God, but are terrified. The disciples' "assumed self-sufficiency has shown itself to be insufficient, and they are hard-hearted. They are blind to the fact that grace, power, and enablement has undeservedly come to them in Jesus. Oh, they obey him. They move at his bidding, but their self-sufficiency blinds them to see their need for His divine grace, His divine help."
I've been putting my head down and plowing ahead through difficult times. His sufficiency is often shown in my weakness, but am I seeing that? Situations caused me to doubt where my source of hope in painful situations lies. The message continued and rocked me harder
"So, where are you at in the midst of the difficulties of your life? Are you putting those self-protected strategies into place? Are you reclining back in your security bubble? Know this, we were never created to live this life alone. We need a Savior. And thankfully, God has not left us alone. He has sent Jesus, His Son, to enter our world to identify with our weakness and endure weakness. His Son endured the ultimate suffering so that in our suffering we are not alone. Suffering and difficulty become now the occasion for Christ to be made great in our lives as His sufficiency is put on display through the weakness of our lives. This means that obedience to Jesus might result in suffering, yes. In other words, God may not release you or relieve you from suffering, but he will refine you in the midst of it. He will exercise your faith to rest in his all-sufficient grace. Suffering is not a lose-lose situation. It's a win-win situation with Jesus."
I could type out the rest because it was so apt and weighty on my heart. Christ is all-sufficient so why am I trying to do it on my own? Why am I not seeing Christ? Because, my eyes are focused on my circumstances. My heart is set on "what I need to do" to get over pain and hurt. God solved my hurt problem at the cross. He took all pain and discomfort and sin and heartache laying it on His shoulders to obey the will of the Father. God, as tears fall on my keyboard, let me not leave this moment unchanged. Make your self great to me today. Remind me of what you showed me in Scripture yesterday morning in Ephesians 1:3-14. Lord, I'm struggling to believe it...help my unbelief
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."
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