I say it every sabbath...but I can't say it enough. I enjoy the communion and fellowship of redemptive community (I couldn't have always said it, but I'm thankful that at this time in my life I can).
From pre-service morning prayer focusing on Eph. 2:1-10 and the mercy of God that ripped into my life when I was "dead in our (my) trespasses, made us (me) alive together with Christ". I can't say enough how the Spirit uses His Word to break open a heart and refresh, renew, convict, and rejuvenate for a morning of life-worship.
To greeting, which I'm not so good at...but I enjoy. In all honesty, it would not have been my first option as a means of service, but I look forward to it every time I do it. I'm not the most extroverted persons and to be able to see people when they first walk in church to greet them, know their name, maybe reflect on grace in the past week, or tell them you've been praying for them (and that being true)...this is not something I grew up with people. Me doing this and being excited about is an evidence of grace.
To ushering, somebody's gotta do it...and again I enjoy it. It may seem menial or insignificant, but it's a tool (monetary offering) to further the kingdom in proclaiming the gospel in NE Philly and around the world. Doing security during the service (which basically means you sit in the foyer, make a couple "security checks" during the service, and watch for shady characters trying to come in and disrupt (which they've definitely done before...true story)) which still allows me to listen, but I'm happy to do it. I honestly never thought it would be such a joy to minister in these ways in a church...I always it would be as it had been...teaching the kids, singing in the choir, being on the bible quiz (haha...just kidding, but seriously this is a whole 'nother blog post), etc.
To the passage/sermon, which I've been making a habit of reading/meditating on before the service the past few weeks. I know it means waking up early which if anyone knows me is not an easy task. Today's sermon was Psalm 125 in the series of "Songs of Ascent". I'll give a quick low down & hope it's a blessing:
3 evidences of humble confidence when we trust in the Lord
1.) When we trust in the Lord, we will experience a confident stability (vs. 1)
*Like Mt Zion where God's people worshiped, God assures his
people that when they trust (even though they were
undeserving) they are cared for by God who has chosen them.
*We can always count on God to be our deliverer (from
temptation), provider (salvation/basic needs), protector (from
the evil one), Shepherd (cares & guides continually), & King
(rules over me through His Word).
2.) When we trust in the Lord, we experience a confident security
(vs. 2-3)
*Security comes through God who is our protector
*God's assurance is those who exercise ungodly authority over
His people will not rule long.
*God is promising that these rulers with a "scepter of
wickedness" will not torment God's people, but they can be
confident in the fact that they are surrounded by the Lord.
3.) When we trust in the Lord, we will experience a confident ability to pray (vs. 4-5)
*Resting in the promise that God will do good to His people,
and they should lift up confident prayers of provision,
protection, deliverance, etc.
*Through Christ, He opened access to the Father (an assurance
of blessing)
*Because of the "community language" in vs. 4 that gives us a
legitimate & necessary way to pray for each other in the body.
Definitely not a complete exposition & I barely gave my application, but good stuff from the Lord by using Ian this morning. Which I have to brag on him a little because the Lord has been so gracious by bringing me here to GBC and being so spoiled by awesome expository, Spirit-filled preaching...He is so kind in that way.
And finally to our family meeting which is not like typical "business meetings" in churches I've previously attended, but continues the fellowship aspect while allowing the body to participate in the vision for the Church. And with a lot of exciting things coming down the pike, I continued to rejoice over the Lord's gracious provision to this body of believers in NE Philly and how He'll continue to work.
Well, that was a lie...finally, to Table Talk which starts in about 25 minutes. A time for guys from GBC to reflect on the mercy and grace of the Father through caring for each others souls, stirring up to good works, admonishing/instructing in the Word, and enjoying great coffee at the best coffee shop in NE Philly (yeh, I'm partial...but I gotta give a plug to Great Awakenings...check it out if you've got a chance b/c you'll enjoy it (especially for those on the West coast...you know who you are :) )). Grace & Peace.
Continuing to Brood...
It's amazing to see the graciousness of God through books I read, sermons I hear, scripture I mediate on, people I meet, and circumstances I experience.
We'll start w/the works I've read this month. My book a week strategy has led me to 3 dynamically different yet congruent works. From Wild at Heart, that caused me to reevaluate my "masculinity" in terms of who God says I am to Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic that gave me reassurance in God's desire for how we "minister" and in trusting despite past heartache in the church to my current read When People are Big and God is Small which has brought me face to face with the striking realization that I'm desperately searching for the approval of others over God.
It's with the latter that I want to focus on because in my mind the first two scratch the surface of what Ed Welch is getting across. There are several reviews online that encapsulate Welch's book which are helpful including this one from 9Marks. I know this book has made the rounds in evangelical circles, and I'm surprised it took me this long to pick it up. I recently borrowed the book in an attempt to further my understanding of counseling in light of my own fears/shortcomings which have and are becoming more evident in light of group redemption. I have extended this book past my week to two because of the weightiness I've incurred while reading. I picked it up for the first time last Wednesday and kept putting it down then back up over the next couple of days just reading and re-reading the first chapter beating my chest in contrition each time like the publican in Luke. After I managed to come back to the cross each time trying to live in light of future grace I'd continue to chide myself over my sin (past/present). Enter a sermon by Aaron Osborn from the previous Sunday over Psalm 103:8-14(which I highly recommend listening to...link provided). If God doesn't deal with me according to my sins, why do I hold them against myself viewing myself as a more "just judge" of my transgressions than God. This holding back of sin against myself has interfered with my approach to others because I will often be repressed in fellowship, encouragement, rebuke, correction according to Scripture because of my past indiscretions.
In this vein of thought, Welch jabs at my complacency with this statement "regarding other people, our problem is that we need them (for ourselves) more than we love them (for the glory of God). The task God sets for us to need them less and love them more." Talk about a punch to the ribs, but he doesn't stop there..."We wait for others to take initiatives of love. We spend too much time wondering what others may have thought...We are more concerned about looking stupid (a fear of people) than we are about acting sinfully (fear of the Lord)." How true...if I'm commanded to love the Father and others relentlessly then why do I cower from interaction and confrontation?
In chapter three, the author penetrates the core of the fear of man issue: "We exalt them (people) and their perceived power above God. We worship them as ones who have God-like exposing gazes (shame-fear) or God-like exposing gazes (shame-fear) or God-like ability to 'fill' us with esteem, love, admiration, acceptance, respect, and other psychological desires (rejection-fear)...They are worshipped because we perceive that they have power to give us something. We think they can bless us." People as he illustrates have become our "idol of choice", and we replace the grace given at the cross with the approval of others and what I view they can "give me". We've (I've) made a blessing (people) an object of worship because I fear them more than God; this fact has become increasingly evident in my interactions with unbelievers, redeemed community, the fairer sex, and even my roommates. I've made fear a debilitating curse rather than a holy, reverence toward God.
So, I'm just starting chapter 6 after 1 1/2 weeks of the Lord walking me slowly through some life-altering truths, and I've continued to make terrible errors based on my "fear of man" issues over the past week or so. But, I know it's working because the Spirit has been gracious in making those sins evident (I often don't listen before the fact...but He's still shifting my allegiances, and for that I couldn't be more grateful). So, let this be an encouragement and a warning to heed, and I'll be updating as the Lord continues to rip away chunks of my life.
I apologize for the long post, but as I continue to brood over the benevolence of the Savior...I continue to type. Recently, I've been listening to few songs from a worship pastor in Tennessee named Jeremy Horn. So, I leave you with one of my favorite songs recently because it so aptly describes what I need to do when fear encompasses and where my identity must lie...So here's Embrace the Cross
You came to earth,ransomed my soul
To pay the debt for my sinful choices
You embraced the cross and made it Your joy
To take up my sin,You laid down Your glory
Oh, I embrace the cross
Oh, I embrace, embrace the cross
May You be glorified. May You be lifted high
May You be magnified high above all things
For all the world to see all of Your majesty
All the compassion that waits at the cross
The blood from Your cross covers my life
What once was darkness, it has become light
The light of Your glory, a light to the world
A light that shines freedom, a light that shines hope
Oh, I embrace, embrace the cross
May You be glorified May You be glorified
May You be glorified. May You be glorified
May You be glorified. May You be glorified
Waits at the cross
Waits at the cross
We'll start w/the works I've read this month. My book a week strategy has led me to 3 dynamically different yet congruent works. From Wild at Heart, that caused me to reevaluate my "masculinity" in terms of who God says I am to Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic that gave me reassurance in God's desire for how we "minister" and in trusting despite past heartache in the church to my current read When People are Big and God is Small which has brought me face to face with the striking realization that I'm desperately searching for the approval of others over God.
It's with the latter that I want to focus on because in my mind the first two scratch the surface of what Ed Welch is getting across. There are several reviews online that encapsulate Welch's book which are helpful including this one from 9Marks. I know this book has made the rounds in evangelical circles, and I'm surprised it took me this long to pick it up. I recently borrowed the book in an attempt to further my understanding of counseling in light of my own fears/shortcomings which have and are becoming more evident in light of group redemption. I have extended this book past my week to two because of the weightiness I've incurred while reading. I picked it up for the first time last Wednesday and kept putting it down then back up over the next couple of days just reading and re-reading the first chapter beating my chest in contrition each time like the publican in Luke. After I managed to come back to the cross each time trying to live in light of future grace I'd continue to chide myself over my sin (past/present). Enter a sermon by Aaron Osborn from the previous Sunday over Psalm 103:8-14(which I highly recommend listening to...link provided). If God doesn't deal with me according to my sins, why do I hold them against myself viewing myself as a more "just judge" of my transgressions than God. This holding back of sin against myself has interfered with my approach to others because I will often be repressed in fellowship, encouragement, rebuke, correction according to Scripture because of my past indiscretions.
In this vein of thought, Welch jabs at my complacency with this statement "regarding other people, our problem is that we need them (for ourselves) more than we love them (for the glory of God). The task God sets for us to need them less and love them more." Talk about a punch to the ribs, but he doesn't stop there..."We wait for others to take initiatives of love. We spend too much time wondering what others may have thought...We are more concerned about looking stupid (a fear of people) than we are about acting sinfully (fear of the Lord)." How true...if I'm commanded to love the Father and others relentlessly then why do I cower from interaction and confrontation?
In chapter three, the author penetrates the core of the fear of man issue: "We exalt them (people) and their perceived power above God. We worship them as ones who have God-like exposing gazes (shame-fear) or God-like exposing gazes (shame-fear) or God-like ability to 'fill' us with esteem, love, admiration, acceptance, respect, and other psychological desires (rejection-fear)...They are worshipped because we perceive that they have power to give us something. We think they can bless us." People as he illustrates have become our "idol of choice", and we replace the grace given at the cross with the approval of others and what I view they can "give me". We've (I've) made a blessing (people) an object of worship because I fear them more than God; this fact has become increasingly evident in my interactions with unbelievers, redeemed community, the fairer sex, and even my roommates. I've made fear a debilitating curse rather than a holy, reverence toward God.
So, I'm just starting chapter 6 after 1 1/2 weeks of the Lord walking me slowly through some life-altering truths, and I've continued to make terrible errors based on my "fear of man" issues over the past week or so. But, I know it's working because the Spirit has been gracious in making those sins evident (I often don't listen before the fact...but He's still shifting my allegiances, and for that I couldn't be more grateful). So, let this be an encouragement and a warning to heed, and I'll be updating as the Lord continues to rip away chunks of my life.
I apologize for the long post, but as I continue to brood over the benevolence of the Savior...I continue to type. Recently, I've been listening to few songs from a worship pastor in Tennessee named Jeremy Horn. So, I leave you with one of my favorite songs recently because it so aptly describes what I need to do when fear encompasses and where my identity must lie...So here's Embrace the Cross
You came to earth,ransomed my soul
To pay the debt for my sinful choices
You embraced the cross and made it Your joy
To take up my sin,You laid down Your glory
Oh, I embrace the cross
Oh, I embrace, embrace the cross
May You be glorified. May You be lifted high
May You be magnified high above all things
For all the world to see all of Your majesty
All the compassion that waits at the cross
The blood from Your cross covers my life
What once was darkness, it has become light
The light of Your glory, a light to the world
A light that shines freedom, a light that shines hope
Oh, I embrace, embrace the cross
May You be glorified May You be glorified
May You be glorified. May You be glorified
May You be glorified. May You be glorified
Waits at the cross
Waits at the cross
Day Off in Center City (a week ago)
I was greatly torn when I was given last Friday (1/08) off. I love the opportunity, but still being technically a temp I don't get paid for mandatory time off. So, to use the day to the best of my ability...in a cavalcade of photoblogging
As I stood waiting for the train at my Margaret-Orthodox station about to head into center city...oh brown leather shoes the places we've been.
If only this was my train, but as you can see...other side of the tracks (just a fan of the pic)
I know its touristy, & I've been there countless times...still, RTM is one of my favorite places in the city which I decided to stop in for a quick bite (didn't turn out so quick)...ended up spending most of the afternoon there.
Helpful hint to the traveler desiring awesome local cuisine on a budget, here's the best roast pork sandwich in Philly (dare I say in all of SE Pennsylvania). Nestled in the center thoroughfare of RTM, Tony Dinics (which has been given much recognition most recently on Man v. Food & rightfully so) makes the meanest Italian Roast Pork which in my opinion must be complemented w/their fresh sharp provolone broccoli rabe. Seriously, the sharpness of the cheddar meshes w/the bitterness of the greens w/the slow roasted pork...my mouth waters thinking of it (hey this was my day to cheat on my diet so I took full advantage). Notice the satisfied bite in the last pic...seriously, you've gotta try it.
So my goal was to walk a little more around the city after lunch, but I got distracted by a book I was determined to finish. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (subtitled - Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul) prolonged my stay, & I was much obliged. After much scribbling/markings, I was greatly disenchanted w/my current state & longed for the "manhood" he so aptly described. Having received the book in November, I was determined to read a book that I'd purchased recently, and when I started I had to finish. As you can see, I had to purchased coffee (Old City...local & delightful) & a cupcake (quickly becoming my favorite guilty pleasure...this one happened to be made of lemon cake w/blackberry jam from The Flying Monkey...and I'm convinced that cupcakes must have a crunchy (not stale) consistency on the cap...big fan).
Whether it was the delightful cornucopia of local faire I enjoyed or the 15 minute stern lecture a mother gave her daughter on the L-train about the non-existence of Santa Claus or the guy who followed me for 2 blocks off the train trying to sell me cologne out of a suitcase (I did it once about 5 yrs ago & vowed never again) or the fact I got off two stops early so I could walk the extra 1.5 miles home or the evening of Chinese food & good conversation w/my roommate...this day (though not monetarily productive) was enjoyable as I relished in common grace.
As I stood waiting for the train at my Margaret-Orthodox station about to head into center city...oh brown leather shoes the places we've been.
If only this was my train, but as you can see...other side of the tracks (just a fan of the pic)
I know its touristy, & I've been there countless times...still, RTM is one of my favorite places in the city which I decided to stop in for a quick bite (didn't turn out so quick)...ended up spending most of the afternoon there.
Helpful hint to the traveler desiring awesome local cuisine on a budget, here's the best roast pork sandwich in Philly (dare I say in all of SE Pennsylvania). Nestled in the center thoroughfare of RTM, Tony Dinics (which has been given much recognition most recently on Man v. Food & rightfully so) makes the meanest Italian Roast Pork which in my opinion must be complemented w/their fresh sharp provolone broccoli rabe. Seriously, the sharpness of the cheddar meshes w/the bitterness of the greens w/the slow roasted pork...my mouth waters thinking of it (hey this was my day to cheat on my diet so I took full advantage). Notice the satisfied bite in the last pic...seriously, you've gotta try it.
So my goal was to walk a little more around the city after lunch, but I got distracted by a book I was determined to finish. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (subtitled - Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul) prolonged my stay, & I was much obliged. After much scribbling/markings, I was greatly disenchanted w/my current state & longed for the "manhood" he so aptly described. Having received the book in November, I was determined to read a book that I'd purchased recently, and when I started I had to finish. As you can see, I had to purchased coffee (Old City...local & delightful) & a cupcake (quickly becoming my favorite guilty pleasure...this one happened to be made of lemon cake w/blackberry jam from The Flying Monkey...and I'm convinced that cupcakes must have a crunchy (not stale) consistency on the cap...big fan).
Whether it was the delightful cornucopia of local faire I enjoyed or the 15 minute stern lecture a mother gave her daughter on the L-train about the non-existence of Santa Claus or the guy who followed me for 2 blocks off the train trying to sell me cologne out of a suitcase (I did it once about 5 yrs ago & vowed never again) or the fact I got off two stops early so I could walk the extra 1.5 miles home or the evening of Chinese food & good conversation w/my roommate...this day (though not monetarily productive) was enjoyable as I relished in common grace.
Three Days into One
So I have been good at taking pics, but not at posting. I even had yesterday off & still didn't...aarggh. ah well, better late than never.
(01/05/10)This would be one of the curricula for our group redemption which starts this coming Tuesday..pray, pray, pray for God's working. We've been praying for the last 3 months for those who would come, for God to prepare & equip us, & that the gospel would be clear and revealed as the source of overcoming addictions. We'd appreciate your prayers as we seek to further the kingdom.
(01/06/10) With my new found love for exercise came a desire to eat better. Just showing one of my first examples w/some baked tilapia (if there's a healthier way to cook it, please advise), peas&carrots (forrest gump analogy if you get it), & some kiwi (becoming one of my favorite fruits...right up there w/pears).
(01/07/10) Yes, more fish...mahi, mahi this time...marinated (one in honey dijon (not again) & one in italian dressing w/parmesan (good idea...really soaked in the fish & gave a nice flavor). Three of my first four meals this week were fish...love my local grocer. I stocked up on much fish, pork, veggies, & fruit and am really enjoying the effects of a non-wasteful, healthier lifestyle. And oh, btw, went to the gym 4 days in a row (evidence of grace if there ever was one)...feeling really victorious this week & hope/pray it continues (would love it if you prayed with me). Well, my day off adventure will have come later today...appreciate you reading & hope you continue to see God in the every day situations.
(01/05/10)This would be one of the curricula for our group redemption which starts this coming Tuesday..pray, pray, pray for God's working. We've been praying for the last 3 months for those who would come, for God to prepare & equip us, & that the gospel would be clear and revealed as the source of overcoming addictions. We'd appreciate your prayers as we seek to further the kingdom.
(01/06/10) With my new found love for exercise came a desire to eat better. Just showing one of my first examples w/some baked tilapia (if there's a healthier way to cook it, please advise), peas&carrots (forrest gump analogy if you get it), & some kiwi (becoming one of my favorite fruits...right up there w/pears).
(01/07/10) Yes, more fish...mahi, mahi this time...marinated (one in honey dijon (not again) & one in italian dressing w/parmesan (good idea...really soaked in the fish & gave a nice flavor). Three of my first four meals this week were fish...love my local grocer. I stocked up on much fish, pork, veggies, & fruit and am really enjoying the effects of a non-wasteful, healthier lifestyle. And oh, btw, went to the gym 4 days in a row (evidence of grace if there ever was one)...feeling really victorious this week & hope/pray it continues (would love it if you prayed with me). Well, my day off adventure will have come later today...appreciate you reading & hope you continue to see God in the every day situations.
The start of a beautiful relationship...hopefully
So, I finally found a gym in my area that has all I wanted/need...1.) 24hr accessibility, 2.) cheap ($10/month is ridiculously good), 3.) close proximity (15mins, but it's on my way to work), 4.) month-to-month membership (in case I throw in the towel)...not too many frills, but it gets the job done when its 23 degrees out in the morning, & I'm already hard to motivate to go running on a regular basis.
Now, a moment of common grace.
A Restful Weekend
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I can't say it enough...I love, love, love Sundays. Yesterday was no exception, & the sermon was poignant and appropriate. Continuing on the Psalms of Ascent series w/Ps. 122 entitled "We should delight in gathering down here until we gather up there". As the Psalmist describes his joy in coming to the temple in Jerusalem, we should delight in gathering as a body b/c we meet with God, give thanks in receiving from God, and build up each other.
Good encouragement as we met in small groups afterward to reflect on the Word & pursue building one another up. Battling pride through focusing on what God has done not in what he hasn't given us & owning our pride as sin.
The pic is from afterward...continuing with rest & according to John Eldridge in our male pursuit to have a "battle to fight/adventure to live" (sorry no beauty's to rescue in this one), we wasted away the afternoon in COD: Modern Warfare 2 revelry...I may be terrible at it, but enjoy the camaraderie.
I know using a camera phone is not the first choice especially when trying to journal w/photos...but I like to think I'm starting a trend (at least until I fix my camera).
P.S. Don't worry no children were neglected in the taking of this picture...she's a big COD fan too.
Good encouragement as we met in small groups afterward to reflect on the Word & pursue building one another up. Battling pride through focusing on what God has done not in what he hasn't given us & owning our pride as sin.
The pic is from afterward...continuing with rest & according to John Eldridge in our male pursuit to have a "battle to fight/adventure to live" (sorry no beauty's to rescue in this one), we wasted away the afternoon in COD: Modern Warfare 2 revelry...I may be terrible at it, but enjoy the camaraderie.
I know using a camera phone is not the first choice especially when trying to journal w/photos...but I like to think I'm starting a trend (at least until I fix my camera).
P.S. Don't worry no children were neglected in the taking of this picture...she's a big COD fan too.
Day 2
Spent about an hour w/my good friend here...Pandora was my catalyst & the song in my heart was the motivation.
Spent about an hour w/another good friend (a human one) this morning talking about struggles, working through our salvation w/meekness & fear, & resting in the Savior.
Spent about an hour w/a bank manager for my 2nd interview (with that branch; 6th interview total) & was brought to a deep realization that I am not in a better position w/this job than w/o it...tough to come to grips with b/c of the last 3mths of back & forth.
Spent a few hours this evening w/good friends rejoicing in grace, enjoying fellowship, and reminiscing...thanks again Matzkos for opening your home.
And now, your moment of common grace.
2010: An Urban Odyssey
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Not sure why I'm so excited about this year...maybe I know something you don't. Maybe, I'm just pumped about grace, & know God has some pretty crazy things in store this year. Or maybe its because its less than a year and a half before the Lord comes back (mark your calendars). In all seriousness, I'm determined to follow through with things this year...we'll see. My first attempt is an idea tweeted by a friend to photojournalize this next year...Project 365 they call it. I may not follow the rules (try to find a pic that summarizes your day), but here goes.
More like "$.99 Taquitos. Constipation Solved" or "$.99 Taquitos. Don't even bother trying to leave the bathroom tonight" or "$.99 Taquitos. Pepto is in aisle 2".
Seriously, never had a desire to eat a taquito...though they served them at Calvary and on days I mournfully forgot my lunch. I pass about 3-4 of these convenience stores on my way to work, and my reaction was always the same...why...especially after the following description (1:11).
So hope you enjoyed yesterday's pic...kinda my "moment of zen"/common grace for the day.
More like "$.99 Taquitos. Constipation Solved" or "$.99 Taquitos. Don't even bother trying to leave the bathroom tonight" or "$.99 Taquitos. Pepto is in aisle 2".
Seriously, never had a desire to eat a taquito...though they served them at Calvary and on days I mournfully forgot my lunch. I pass about 3-4 of these convenience stores on my way to work, and my reaction was always the same...why...especially after the following description (1:11).
So hope you enjoyed yesterday's pic...kinda my "moment of zen"/common grace for the day.
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