Joy...seriously...Joy

"Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." (HCSB)

So the book of James has been kicking my tuchis recently. And I started over again today only to run into the wall that is vs. 2. I love how James never pulls punches, but gets to the point. As a "slave of Christ", he doesn't see a need to mince words or shy away from a difficult truth. "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials." wait, WHAT! you have got to be joking...what person (outside of a masochist) would find joy in a painful or discomforting situation? What person in their right mind would put themselves in harm's way to begin with, but in the process be able to see it as a joy-filled situation? "consider it a great joy"...wow...I love that James knows he must be talking to "brothers". Only the redeemed can truly understand joy in trial.

Today was a hard day...not because of work, the kids today, etc. It was a half-day in an autism support room that I've been to several times before (so I must enjoy it). Just little things made me think of her...like the student's worksheet today that was based on the Chronicles of Narnia, the student's exuberant excitement over receiving stickers on their papers, the main character in the story we read together today had her name, and spending the last 1/2hr with the kids watching "UP" (one of her favorites). I miss the times we read together, the little things that she'd tell me that caused me to grow fond of her, just the joy in saying her name, and spending time just watching movies & holding her hand...just being together. My heart starts to hurt knowing I most likely will never hear her voice again, that I no longer get to find joy in getting to learn about the "little things" (the things she thought were insignificant or even odd about her, but to me were adorable), no more lighting up when she calls and her name comes up on my phone or skype because her name doesn't come up anymore, and just plain missing that person...for them & nothing more than you enjoy them.

Then, I look at my today and really ponder it; it makes me think "if that's my trial right now, unrequited affection. Knowing that somebody doesn't feel the same way romantically or relationally that I do with them. If that's the most difficult (no matter how much it hurts my heart at times) situation, that God is allowing in my life at this moment. Wow, God's gracious!" And even if it wasn't the most difficult situation...even if I really was under "various trials" like persecution, famine, imminent peril, nakedness, desolation, financial ruin, sickness like cancer, and even possible death, God would still be gracious.

I was rereading Dever's section on James in "The Message of the New Testament" and he references vs. 2-15 listing four reasons why James says we can "Consider it a great joy...when you experience various trials".

1) to produce maturity in the Christian.

"because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (vs. 3-4 NIV)

There's a progression in this sanctification, and it's a maturity born out of adversity. Like the runner who trains and trains for a marathon (hopefully by next year...it's on my bucket list), by spending hours and hours building up to a better mile time, sacrificing momentary pleasures to learn how to endure under the pain that a marathon can bring, and experience the joy of reaching a goal/finishing a race.

2) to cause us to depend more on God

"Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. An indecisive man is unstable in all his ways." (vs. 5-8 HCSB)

I appreciate the way Mark puts it "Yet in his kindness and love, God puts us in trials and circumstances in which we have no option but to trust him. And that is when we learn we can trust him, and we grow." And "ironically" he uses John 6:68 (what knocked the wind out of me late last night) to say like Peter "we have no other option but to trust you!" The lesson comes in relinquishing what I think are "needs" or "rights" or what I think I'm entitled to...it's all His, and I'm encouraged anew to lean on Him.

3)to realize that this life (and trials) will pass

"The brother of humble circumstances should boast in his exaltation; but the one who is rich [should boast] in his humiliation, because he will pass away like a flower of the field. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and dries up the grass; its flower falls off, and its beautiful appearance is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will wither away while pursuing his activities. Blessed is a man who endures trials, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that He has promised to those who love Him." (vs. 9-12 HCSB)

His ways are not our ways. Who he exalts and humiliates. But His promises are true and are ringing true in my ears now. The futility of this life should be a grand reminder of my needed allegiance to the Father and trust in His purposes.

4) to unfold promises that trials are a part of God's purposes

"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." (vs. 13-15 ESV)

I don't know what God is intending with the loss of this relationship, but getting to put more trust in Him for what I cannot immediately see is refreshing. I may still wander and question (though I'm constantly being reminded that I don't have to have answers to trust), but it does bring to realize that at the moment I'm not trusting and my emotions are controlling me.

I love the way M. Dever puts it:
"James calls us to embrace our trials by considering them 'all joy.' That does not mean we pretend they are not trials. It simply means we do not let our understanding of them ultimately be determined by how they feel at first. If something feels hard or bad at first, we will react to it negatively. That is only natural. But the strange and wonderful thing is, God in his sovereign love again and again uses those things that feel bad at first to teach us to trust Him."

He continues by aptly describing our emotions as a tail or crosswind to an airplane:
"One the one hand, emotions can be extremely helpful. On the other hand, trials can produce winds of emotion that feel like headwinds or even crosswinds. So we cannot take our directions from our emotions. We have to take our direction from God and the truth of what he has told us to do in Scripture. And as we see trials strengthen our faith and so prove God's faithfulness, a new emotion, indeed something deeper than an emotion, will emerge--joy! Now that's a tailwind!"

Joy from trial...to mature, redirect affection, bring to worship the Father, reflect on the finite measure of the trial, and focus on the future good that God is working out for His children.

Joy...seriously...Joy. Joy when I read of God's unending love for me His child, when I find glimpses of Him in the seemingly, ordinary "little things" that cause me to grow more fond of Him, when I get the express privilege to say His name like honey on my lips as I sing w/uplifted hands while tears stream down, when I get to spend time telling Him all my sorrows and heartaches and joys and fears and dreams and desires...and even though I can't see Him either, He's with me and I get to just Be with Him.

Seriously...joy...yah, joy!